me in my less-than-perfect dancer's pose

Yesterday during flow class our yoga teacher June shared a little bit on her own yoga journey, which struck a cord in me- She said her journey started off as a very physical practice, with her focus being chasing after asanas, or those yoga postures. You work hard, improve, then things become stagnant. Then somehow you find the will to push yourself harder, and you go further and improve again, then it plateau's off again... and repeat. It was only after a while that it became a spiritual practice for her. 


The first month I practised yoga last year was a really physical journey for me- battling my dislike for how my body looked/looks, trying to balance out problems with my body image, and at the same time, willing myself to become stronger, more graceful, more well-balanced (be it in postures or in life) and become more beautiful (more importantly to myself). 

Over the past few months, I started getting comfortable in certain asanas, and started taking them for granted. I realised that it wasn't enough and i had to push myself further- to try to improve myself overall as a whole. Concurrently i had to fight this impatience and disappointment building in me at my lack of ability to achieve certain more advanced asanas such as arm balances like crow, which i have a deep-rooted fear of. 

I began to have a newfound appreciation for breathing techniques and also meditation, as i found it not only improved my practice but also my living as a whole. Before i realised it, yoga had become somewhat of a spiritual practice for myself, aside from a way to sweat off extra calories and feel less guilty about my weight. As all this happened, i began to ask myself, what do i want to achieve with Yoga? I started to question my relationship with my boyfriend, my job, my family, and my life. 
What do i want to achieve in life? 

The thing is, Yoga hasn't done anything to answer those questions. It has merely facilitated the process of my seeking of these answers, calmed my heart, and brought peace to my mind. 

Going forward, looking forward, i don't know where the road leads. 
I still don't know for certain, but there is some inkling of what i would like to achieve, where i would like to go, and who i want to become.



And i'm grateful for this journey that yoga has brought me upon to find it.